Things non-car guys say

[Nick475]

thats a bmw? referring to pretty much any pre 1990 bmw

[DER E30]

Is this the gearbox?? And points to the valve cover

No gears in there! Just kustom piston return springs!





Reading this article about the cooper Clubman... The guy says that it "had a strut tower brace over the engine that totally eliminated any body roll in corners." OMG really????? You have NO IDEA how suspension works or WTF a strut bar does...

AND! If it isn't rolling in corners you aren't going fast enough!!!!

[_David_]

Is this the gearbox?? And points to the valve cover

[TheContra]

2) Person: What kind of car is it?
Me: A BMW 2002
Person: Really? It looks older than that.
Me: Yeah it's a 1976
Person: You said it was a 2002...
Me: That's the model. Its a 1976 BMW 2002.
Person: What?
Me:

^^This.
And "When are you ever going to use a roll cage?"
"Hopefully I won't have to use it."
"Then why do you have it?"

[Nicolaus Pro]

"Woah, dude, the back of your truck kicked out, slow down! You might flip!"

-Co-worker as I went sideways through the parking lot

I often wonder how people can live like this. How boring their lives must be. How terrified they must be if the rear end steps out by accident one day.

[MommysLittleMonster]

"Woah, dude, the back of your truck kicked out, slow down! You might flip!"

-Co-worker as I went sideways through the parking lot

[standard125r]

I need to qualify this with I live in a small farming community in NW Ohio

I recently had a local muffler shop build a 2 into 1 exhaust setup for my E30. When it was done I drove the car a couple days, then lowered it another 2 inches. It was scraping on every crack in the road. So I take it back to the muffler shop, and tell him to raise it up as much as possible, and if necessary ovalize the tubing. The guy at the muffler shop (Don) doesn't ask any questions, but says it'll be done later in the afternoon. So, I walk up there around three, and it's done. I asked him how much I owe him and he says nothing. I say, "Ok, Why?" Don says," I've been doing this for 15 years at this location, but I never get as many people coming in for "estimates" as when one of your cars is parked out front. Could you just bring something over a couple times a week? I mean I had five guys standing there while I ovalized that brand new exhaust. All of them just shaking their head and laughing." I just thought to myself, "Priceless!"

[Dr.AK]

I was at a stoplight once in my M3. I looked in the rearview and saw two guys in the car behind me. They kept looking down at my camber situation and then one guy held up his hands like this- /

I couldn't stop laughing

That's happened to me as well


Another great one was when I parked for work and a co-worker came in directly behind me... he ran up to me all excited to tell me that I need to bring my car to a shop to fix the broken axle

[DER E30]

When I first bought my Evo one of my best friends asked me:

"Sick car dude, you going to put neon and a body kit on it like in F&F?"

I just looked at him with a straight face and said "NO"

You neeeeed to get A pillar gauges for both the pass and driver sides too! Hella tight yo!

[kbuss]

When I first bought my Evo one of my best friends asked me:

"Sick car dude, you going to put neon and a body kit on it like in F&F?"

I just looked at him with a straight face and said "NO"

At gas stations:

Person: Looks like you smacked a curb pretty hard, those wheels are crooked.
Me: No, it's like that on purpose
Person: Why?
Me: I don't have time to explain.

[DER E30]

me rolling into car show in my truck like
parking usher dude, an old guy: "hey someone stole your springs!"
Le me: "wat?"
Le guy: "Your truck, its too low!"
Le me: "wat?"


Le guy looking at my c5 corvette rear end in the truck at show: "Is that a Jaguar rear??"
Le me: "Uh no, its a corvette transmisson, and suspension. It matches the LS1 and wheels."
He probably doesn't even know what a Jag rear looks like.


Le friend: I think your back wheels would look better if you, like spaced your fenders out like 4 inches, lift it up a few inches and make your wheels not like this (makes / \ with hands)"
Le me: "I think its perfect now, maybe I'll lower it more, and put some spacers on it."


My truck has about 5 inches of running board to ground clearance... = not low by any stretch of my imagination...

[word2thegod]

"yeah i was racing this rx7, and my laptop was like, yo danger to intake manifold, but i was like stfu and closed it. Bad idea, cuz then my floor pan fell out."

real talk.

:d:d:d:d:d:d:d

[MommysLittleMonster]

"My car is in the shop this week."

No self-respecting car guy says this sentence.

Yeah that's the downside of ordering from discount tire direct, they were like we cant ship those tires to you blah blah because they are not wide enough lol..

I've never had that problem.

[AnchorsAweigh]

"It would look better if the wheels had the VW symbol in the center... Then people wouldn't know that the wheels came from another car."

A million times this!!!!!

[MrJereMoose]

Now that it's winter and been well below zero... and I have a TDI

"Did you know you left your car running?"
"Are you going to leave it running the whole time we're here?"
"That's going to waste a lot of gas..." or "Okay, it's your gas..."