The E38: An unexpected journey

[Aitch]

Each line killed me with laughter. You bastard.

[LCG]

I guess you killed him six times? So now that makes you a mass murder...

WHAT!? not agaaaaaaaaaaaaain... this wasn't even on the week plans

[Fleetlin49]

I guess you killed him six times? So now that makes you a mass murder...

[LCG]

Dead x 6.

[Aitch]

- the car is a rolling ant colony

- some horny drill bit dick squirrel had fun with the rocker

- holes to insert a pulling tool to fix damage

- previous owner had a big garden and did not have a hose so he filled the rocker with water and then drove all around to water it

- El chupacabras sucked all the blood out of the rocker

- An angry girlfriend with good ethics saw the picture of the audi with all the pick axes and thought about doing the same but she knew the car was a timeless design so she bought a playmobil pick axe and made damage on a not so visible area, yet stressful enough for the owner to have it fixed. (poorly)

- Inverse Braille for that chance of running over a blind person.

So many possibilities

Dead x 6.

[kneums]

yes please

Slide in them pms

[LCG]

For the driver front i assume? If you still need one i have a 01 door from a parts car that should have it.

yes please

[kneums]

BODYWORK UPDATE
HELP

I am looking for the impact bar of drivers door, I have looked over ebay without success.

For the driver front i assume? If you still need one i have a 01 door from a parts car that should have it.

[LCG]

What are those holes for?

- the car is a rolling ant colony

- some horny drill bit dick squirrel had fun with the rocker

- holes to insert a pulling tool to fix damage

- previous owner had a big garden and did not have a hose so he filled the rocker with water and then drove all around to water it

- El chupacabras sucked all the blood out of the rocker

- An angry girlfriend with good ethics saw the picture of the audi with all the pick axes and thought about doing the same but she knew the car was a timeless design so she bought a playmobil pick axe and made damage on a not so visible area, yet stressful enough for the owner to have it fixed. (poorly)

- Inverse Braille for that chance of running over a blind person.

So many possibilities

[loekaaz]

What are those holes for?

[LCG]

BODYWORK UPDATE

As much as I think that updating on OEM bodywork is very lame, I am lame enough to excuse it as “every part of the story makes the story whole”.

Plus, the deeper you dig, bigger the chance of pulling an undigested grain of corn.

- Driver Side

When you leave your car at a shop to get painted, the usual steps are.

- You get the car to the shop to get evaluated.
- You get a quote
- You leave the car at the shop
- 5 years go by
- They ask for more money to finish it
- 3 years go by
- A bit more money
- You get the car back / Change the half-finished car to another shop / You died long before.

But in my case since I have the “power” to roam around the shop when-ever I visited I always went for the sad corner where my car is sitting.

Obviously the guy in charge of the bodywork is bodyworking another car, what else.

I already know his hypocrite smile when I gracefully ask him why he has not finished. I begin to enjoy it.

Yet, NCO and him always follow me to the corner to see what I have about to say about the work being done.





I always joke about the straightness of the car, obviously when it arrived it was like an overused hot cake pan.



You can get straighter cuts with toddler zigzag scissors.


NCO knows I am a perfectionist bitch, the one that no matter how good you think you did your work, I can find something wrong with it. So he knows… when I joke about wanting a STRAIGHT paint job is just a nice way to say “bitch, how much you regret accepting this job now?”

I found a picture of a random custom rod that had a flawless straight body line and sent it to him.


Did you ever woke up as a teenager and thought, today I am going to be the best son my parents ever dreamed of.

While you put some clothes on you start planning the day
- Clean the room
- Take the trash out
- Wash the cars
- Maybe even study for that exam of tomorrow

Just before you tie your ugly worn vans you hear your dad coming over to your door.

With the strength of the most Alpha Male gorilla he knocks your door 23 times, and overpowers the sound of your “hello dad” so you just roll your eyes and wait till the knocking stops.

It stops.

Just before you start saying AGAIN “hello da….”

SON, WAKE UP, CLEAN YOUR ROOM, TAKE THE TRASH OUT, WASH THE CARS AND YOU BETTER STUDY FOR YOUR EXAM TOMORROW.

Ohhhhh yes….

Now you know what it feels being the owner of a body shop and a client sends you a picture of the most perfect of jobs ever.


No reply was received that day.


A few days later I receive this set of pictures.








I was in a very good mood that day so I instantly replied with – Not good enough.

It’s not like I have a straightness measuring app on my cellphone, I was just messing with him.

No reply from him.

At this point I am super mega ultra-busy at work and don’t have time to even remember I have a house being unfinished, let alone a car on a body shop so a few more weeks pass by.

Out of nothing he sends me this pictures.






This time I completely overlook the doors and my eyes go straight to the rockers.

I tend to make my observations in questions, I guess this is how retrospective unsocial people deal with problems.

-Is the rocker repaired already on you still have to work it?


I guess this was the drop of water that filled his glass with me and he calls me and starts lecturing me on the order and process of repairing a car while I made more and more questions.

I bet he regrets taking the job like 10 times more by now.


More time passed and we became friends again.

He sends me a picture and adds – Don’t complain, progress is being done.







- Passenger side

Of course the reason of all this drama was the fact that the car had a hit on driver side, yet the grain of corn was about to get pulled.

90% of e38 “enthusiast” owners will at some point install 2001 rocker covers.
5% will paint match the rockers
The rest will leave the car alone.

For me getting rockers covers was out of the question because of past “used” parts condition and the inability to return them.

I also think they make the cars look a bit fatter on the bottom.

So the next best thing was to strip the black turd of the rocker, paint it like actual body panels and live with the regret of all the rock chips that will eventually appear on them.

Rock chips… HA!

They began striping passenger side and he calls me to ask which side was the good one?

At this point is laughable so I just do that and ask for pictures.









Seems like rock chips was an amateur achievement for me, previous owner was far more ballsy and appears to have participated in some sort of rock crawling event.

That or someone with such inexperience to drive a car longer than 2 meters curbed the hell of the rocker from mid-point backwards.

It’s not that big of a deal, we are repairing a worse thing on the other side, this is just material for extra drama.




HELP

I am looking for the impact bar of drivers door, I have looked over ebay without success.

It is a bolt on unit so it can be taken of the door but I have not found anyone willing to sell me just the bar.

I can pay for a whole door no problem but I need someone to take it out so I don’t have to ship the whole door.

If you have the means to do me that favor please approach me and I will kiss you softly, guys with beards must shave first and please no homosexuals, I don’t want anyone fall in love with me because of my mad kissing skillz.

[LCG]

Only pokemon trainers wear that color. Pick another one

[loekaaz]

Only pokemon trainers wear that color. Pick another one

[LCG]

Was hoping that the thread bump was an update. Was not disappointed.

You going to keep us in suspense as to what OEM color this is???

For the moment yes, I am not a teaser, but since current pictures do not show reality and the internet shows quite a difference in pictures of the same paint I don't want anyone to say, oh that color will turn pink in 2 years or only pokemon trainers wear that color.

So I will wait till the whole car is painted so I don't have a chance of changing my mind

[lamsv]

Was hoping that the thread bump was an update. Was not disappointed.

You going to keep us in suspense as to what OEM color this is???