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  • Friend Dilema...

    So I have a friend I have been friends with for quite a while, since like 7th grade...soooo... Well I'm 20 now so however long that is.anyways he has always been really cool even though is family is considerably more wealthy than mine. Some people let money get to their head (I'm sure we've all encountered people like that.) But he's always been super cool and down to earth. However, he has recently, and when I say recently I mean like 10 or so months ago, aquired a new GF. I am currently rooming with my two other best friends and we have all always been a close group of friends, but ever since his gf has come around he hasn't been hanging out with us as much. Which really isn't that big of a deal, but everytime he sees us he always says something like "thanks for calling me" or "we never hang out anymore." And I try to explain that everytine we try he always makes some excuse. which again is no big deal but if I could explain how douchey he says it you'd understand. He's also letting his money get to him a lot. He has like 3 cars now that his parents have bought him, which wouldn't be a big deal if he wasn't a douche about them. He's just done a complete 180 from what he once was. And I don't want to be so quick to point the finger at his gf buuutt... Its kinda hard not to since none of us like her since she's such a controlling..... Well you know.

    What would you guys do in a situation like this?

    Also this was typed on my phone at work so just overlook any typos
    -Brandon-

  • #2
    Sabotage their relationship.

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    • #3
      Very few of us have never made a bad decision concerning women. If you have been friends this long, then just leave him be. At some point, he will realize his ways, dump her (or get dumped) and he will come crawling looking for his "wolf pack."

      I have two types of close associations in my life: my "friends" are people that i have gotten to know and we hang out or cross paths and it's great to catch up and have fun. No expectations, just making sure we all have a good time when we see each other.

      Then i have my "boys." These are few and far between and would lay their life down for me as I would for them. They insure that I stay grounded and are willing to lay into me, if it means insuring I don't do something stupid. They give me what's called "tough love." All the things I need to hear, but don't want to hear. They do it because they care. That type of friendship is rare and it's something not to be treated lightly, simply because it's not fun giving out "tough love." These friends are more like "brothers" then anything else.

      What you need to decide is if your buddy here is a "friend" or a "brother." If it's the latter, then apply a little "tough love." If it's the former, leave him be and he will eventually come back when the estrogen-induced-tropical-storm has passed over.

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      • #4
        ^Well said, Thank you very much Ben.

        I definately consider him a brother. I was never concerned about having a lot of friends through school/life, instead I had a few really good friends and he's definately one of them.
        -Brandon-

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        • #5
          I've had that happen with one friend, who I know since kindergarten literally. We had a similar situation with a girl much like this one. The aforementioned girl was with me before him also, but we broke up because she was a B. Anyway long story short we didn't kick it for the longest time and I made sure we were on good terms, but I didn't go out of my way to invite him anywhere, or hang out, but I just kept in touch and stayed in touch, and didn't ask about her or say anything malicious. Their relationship fell apart, he got in a car wreck and a mutual friend of ours died (not that quick, and those two parts aren't really related) anyway she's with some scrub now and my best friend is in prison. I visit him and she doesn't ever.
          I guess my point is if he's acting that way, don't invite him out, or try to kick it. Stay on good terms and don't mention his bitch of a girlfriend. when they split he'll come back.
          Or just say fuck him and forget it if he being a silver spoon tool. I've cut alot of close friends out of my life who changed for the worse and have absolutely no regrets about it. Some people just aren't worth it either.
          don't make quick decisions and keep listening to good music!
          If your having stance problems I feel bad for you son.

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          • #6
            I guess its just starting to show more because me and my roomies are always having to pay for all our stuff more now (car insurance, gas, food, rent, etc) and I'm always broke as fuck, and he's still riding on the coat tails of his family. Which is whatever, he just doesn't need to be a douche about it.
            -Brandon-

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            • #7
              I had this happen to me just this year with my best friend (I consider him more like a brother than a friend), he let just the idea of girls go to his head, and god it was an awful 3 months until I just decided to basically tell him "Look, these girls are your new 'friends' but they aren't going to last, I have been your friend since we were 8, my parents call you a son, and now for the past 3 months I have hung out with you once, but whenever you see me with other friends, you tell me 'thanks for the invite asshole', even though I did actually invite you. I think you really need to check your surroundings, see who you have become and see what effect these new 'friends' are having on your life, and if you really like it, because until then you are just straining our friendship, and making it awkward for all of us. So until you think about what's good and bad, don't pretend like you are still the same, because you aren't and see what you have become and why you have changed."

              Or something along those lines, it made a lot more sense when I lectured him about it. But it worked, and really made him realize what was going on around him.
              - Kielan (Key-lin)

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