Things non-car guys say

[ro@dster_kevin]

"Yeah my car is a stick AND an automatic! Two modes!"


Ugh.

Girl I've been talking to just bought a Hyundai Genesis, went to the dealership with her, and the salesman tried to talk up the slapshift.
"Yeah, the Genesis is a great car. Has an automatic and a manual! Pretty neat huh?"
Girl "...It's not a real manual though."
Salesperson "Yes it is you can switch between manual and automatic! See? (shows us)"
Girl "It's not really a manual because it doesn't have a clutch pedal (Points to my e21) THATS a real manual because it has a clutch pedal. (looks at me) right Kevin?"
Keep in mind I've never mentioned slap shift transmissions before. She knew all on her own.
I think I'm in love.

[rice4life]

Girl I've been talking to just bought a Hyundai Genesis, went to the dealership with her, and the salesman tried to talk up the slapshift.
"Yeah, the Genesis is a great car. Has an automatic and a manual! Pretty neat huh?"
Girl "...It's not a real manual though."
Salesperson "Yes it is you can switch between manual and automatic! See? (shows us)"
Girl "It's not really a manual because it doesn't have a clutch pedal (Points to my e21) THATS a real manual because it has a clutch pedal. (looks at me) right Kevin?"
Keep in mind I've never mentioned slap shift transmissions before. She knew all on her own.
I think I'm in love.

She uses your gas and you aren't even sleeping with her?

Friendzoneproblems

I kid, I kid. She better have gotten a gen though.



"I wan my car 2 b flushed"
You see this shit on the elantra forums, then they go out, get -1" lowering springs, put them on blown shocks and call it slammed. If they aren't satisfied, then they go get some really low offset wheels for the car, "stretch" some 50 series tires over them, and slap on a mad amount of stickers.

Then they complain about being low, and how low cars bounce naturally.

[BigRuss]

Seeing as my new boss is a tool and thinks hes gods gift to the world he constantly asks me if ____ CAn beat my srt4 caliber and most of the time its bullshit like 135I or 328I or even a base ass jetta...

Say Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[peter_werks]

Explaining to your friends about how you can't go to there apartment because you can't make it up the drive, that's always fun to explain.
Wha, where did you park then lol
Then comes the girl, because see the way my car is setup we ain't goin out to eat there, see that driveway, we're going back home.
And my car isn't even slammed, if I had a slammed car I'd carry 2x8s if I was static
Some people don't understand the stressful life of a lowered car because they tear the piss outta there cars like my friends do, no respect I suppose

[therealvilla]

Explaining to your friends about how you can't go to there apartment because you can't make it up the drive, that's always fun to explain.
Wha, where did you park then lol
Then comes the girl, because see the way my car is setup we ain't goin out to eat there, see that driveway, we're going back home.
And my car isn't even slammed, if I had a slammed car I'd carry 2x8s if I was static
Some people don't understand the stressful life of a lowered car because they tear the piss outta there cars like my friends do, no respect I suppose

Me and the wife are looking to buy a house and we're going over must haves and I mention 'no steep driveways' my car isn't slammed either. And the wife says to me 'we can't ask for that'. And a small debate ensues about how we 'sure as fuck can'(my words) and she is trying to say we A.) can't ask the realtor to check out the driveways - which we can it's not that uncommon and B.) we can just 'fix' a steep driveway. I asked her if she had any idea what would go into trying to 'fix' a steep driveway or even a driveway with a rough entry. To fix a steep driveway we would be talking tearing out the existing concrete, regrading the hill if at all possible. I go into basic geometry and explain a gradual slope would take more distance which probably isn't an option that being why it is steep in the first place. And then I mention all the red tape associated with messing with the curb/entry point, since 3' of land from the street is owned by the city and they would have to fix that we wouldn't be able to do it ourselves.... So the grade is probably unfix able in a steep driveway, and the city would probably never fix a rough entry point because your car is "too low".

She has no idea sometimes....

[theseeker411]

I've had multiple people at meets lately ask me if ODB is static...

[TheSavoy]

"I think your suspension is broken"

[therealvilla]

Last weekend I was tasked with driving my wife and her 3 girlfriends downtown to a bar for one of the girls birthday. They're not car-gals. One of them drunkenly proclaimed her car was kind of a manual because it had "the little flappy things on the sides of the wheel" she didn't even know which made the gears go up and down. At least she was able to aknowledge her car wasn't a true manual - which is better than some. The girls are all petite, and one is average height. I had to gingerly explain why my car wasn't set up to carry passengers in the backseat. So with every good bump a had a little rub in the rear and the average size one would say something along the lines of "Sorry I weigh so much back here"... It was funny but a little awkward at the same time trying to explain that the car is low and the wheels are wide and tolerances are tight while never acknowledging their miniscule weight whatsoever...

Low car problems...

[way2fastx3]

So i had my family reunion this weekend and i managed to get the truck running in the street for a few mins and then parked it now that its in one piece. So i showed pictures and video of the truck and it airing up and down.

This is a small bit of the never ending convo that went on for an hour...

GrandMom: Hows the truck coming along.
Me: Its Done! (Shows Video/Pictures)... At this point everyone is watching and then it starts.

Me: Its basically done, i just need to do all the wiring, power, yadah yadah blah blah.
Uncle: Why do you kids do this stuff? - Its a lifestyle its hard to explain.
Dad: Go ahead and explain, explain why cutting a truck in half is a great thing to do.
Cousin: You cut that thing in half? How did you do that? Did you take it to a crusher or something to have it done?
Me: No i got off my non-lazy, non-prego ass and took a hacksaw to it.
Grandmom: Why did you put hydraulics on it like a Mexican?
Me: THERE BAGS NOT HYDRAULICS! Jesus... get it grammatically correct gramah you know better.
Aunt & Uncle: How do you drive it? Is there a crank or something you have to wind up?
Me: (At this point im LOLing so hard) Umm no its controlled by a electric switch panel that is hand held like a phone that talks to the vavles/compressors/tank to allow air to go into the air bags to fill them so it lifts up.
Grandmom: How do you get safty air bags from a steering wheel to fit in there?
Me: They arnt like that, they resemble air bags that you will see on tracker trailer on the roads.
Uncle: So its like a mini-rig then right?
Me: No its a minitruck.

There were more dumb questions but these were ones that caught my attention cause it was so funny.

[fifty3bags]

So i had my family reunion this weekend and i managed to get the truck running in the street for a few mins and then parked it now that its in one piece. So i showed pictures and video of the truck and it airing up and down.

This is a small bit of the never ending convo that went on for an hour...

GrandMom: Hows the truck coming along.
Me: Its Done! (Shows Video/Pictures)... At this point everyone is watching and then it starts.

Me: Its basically done, i just need to do all the wiring, power, yadah yadah blah blah.
Uncle: Why do you kids do this stuff? - Its a lifestyle its hard to explain.
Dad: Go ahead and explain, explain why cutting a truck in half is a great thing to do.
Cousin: You cut that thing in half? How did you do that? Did you take it to a crusher or something to have it done?
Me: No i got off my non-lazy, non-prego ass and took a hacksaw to it.
Grandmom: Why did you put hydraulics on it like a Mexican?
Me: THERE BAGS NOT HYDRAULICS! Jesus... get it grammatically correct gramah you know better.
Aunt & Uncle: How do you drive it? Is there a crank or something you have to wind up?
Me: (At this point im LOLing so hard) Umm no its controlled by a electric switch panel that is hand held like a phone that talks to the vavles/compressors/tank to allow air to go into the air bags to fill them so it lifts up.
Grandmom: How do you get safty air bags from a steering wheel to fit in there?
Me: They arnt like that, they resemble air bags that you will see on tracker trailer on the roads.
Uncle: So its like a mini-rig then right?
Me: No its a minitruck.

There were more dumb questions but these were ones that caught my attention cause it was so funny.

I've been hearing that for the past few months from my fiancé when I talk about building a bag setup. She complains that we never take my car anywhere, but she cringes every time the tires rub (which is hardly ever, only going sideways into inclined entrances or big bumps) and says she hates riding in my car because it's so rough.

So I said I want to get a bag setup so that I can raise it up and lower it whenever I want and you don't have to complain we never take my car anywhere. Now she says that it's Mexican and embarrassing to show up somewhere and then air out.

Me: wtf do you want me to do then?
Her: raise it back up so that we can drive it places
Me: no.

[Khalil]

"Does it always stay like that?"

[MommysLittleMonster]

Me: wtf do you want me to do then?
Her: raise it back up so that we can drive it places
Me: no.

Let's hope she gets used to it like my wife did. Took her a few weeks to warm up to it.




Non-car guy thing of the week: "Why would you get up at 7am for a car show?"

[MuggingMeatballs]

"Did you lower your seat? It's like sitting in the ground"

[way2fastx3]

Haha heres a new one...

"How do you change the oil and fluids?"

/facepalm

[MommysLittleMonster]

"Why don't you just sell all of your cars and buy one new one to drive every day? You can get something practical like my Camry and not have to worry about it."


How about not.