hand-shaking etiquette

[ray ban]

ok so i haven't been around enough to know what is right and wrong in the world of hand shaking. but i figure being a girl shouldn't really change the rules . . .but i think it does. while out and about with a decently sized group of ppl(all guys), there were quite a few instances when someone would be making the rounds shaking everyones hand and every single time i would get skipped over.

is this possibly because they find it unneccesary to shake my hand since im a girl and therefore unimportant or did they immediately write me off as not wanting to shake hands with them. I wasn't offended in any way, don't get me wrong, but it made me curious to know how guys felt about the situation . . .please share

[MrJereMoose]

It's sometimes awkward to shake hands with a girl, girl hands tent to be small and dainty. The problem may stem from this as when guys and girls shake hands, their hands don't fit together. Girls, and guys from time to time, will end up shaking fingers, which isn't good. The other thing is that guy handshakes are seemingly equivalent to girl hugs. While the handshake can still be a ritualized greeting between people that have just met, but when it comes to good friends girls treat hugs like guys treat handshakes. If a guy leaves a party, he will go around the room and say goodbye to his friends; really close friends will get a hug, and friends will get a handshake or fist bump (depending on the gentleman in question). A girl will leave a party, and make her rounds for goodbye hugs for her friends. It's almost as if it's hug or nothing with girls. Maybe hugs and handshakes aren't equal but are on a scale. Handshakes for guys can go from strangers to good friends, and then hugs for guys goes for good friends to family, and girls. For girls it seems like strangers to friends get nothing, and then friends to family get varying degrees of hugging from short quick hug for friends and a long lingering hug for bestfriends...

If a girl is introduced to a group of guys it seems like theres just some "hi"s and stupid little waves from both parties, if it had been a guy there would be handshakes. Thanks just how I've seen things work. I hope this help the discussion.

[TrUcKeR]

If a woman is introducing herself to me, I wait until she offers her hand.

If I am introducing myself to woman, I offer my hand.

A woman needs to know how to offer/reciprocate a handshake, based on the type of meeting it is. If it is a business or professional meeting, a standard handshake is proper. But the man must let the woman set the firmness of the shake, and then respond to her 'grip'.


If it is a casual or romantic meeting, she should be offering her hand in the 'kiss my hand' style, at which point a man should know how to respond to that style, and can even go as far as placing his other hand gently over the top of hers in addition to the shake, in lieu of kissing her hand.


If being introduced, the person whose name is spoken first should initiate the handshake, as the person doing the introduction should be introducing the person they know least, to the person they know most. and as the newcomer, it is their responsibility to demonstrate manners as a way to leave a good first impression.

Of course, neither parents nor schools teach proper manners any more, so few know how to handle these situations. I find that it's just easier to fist-bump everyone in a social setting, and if a person has their hands full, I will offer an elbow-bump instead (too be funny/break the awkwardness of people wanting to shake but can't).


And I can't stand anything more than a simple handshake. Nothing makes you a d-bag more than knowing you expect me to do a 3-5 position shake (a'la gangsta), and expect me to know the order in which you will proceed. And overly strong handshakes are taboo as well, even between guys. If I feel you are about to break a bone, I will drop you with a left hook, regardless of the situation. An overly firm handshake is a sign of ignorance/aggression/dominance that I find extremely offensive, and in my case, will be met with a higher level of such. Don't be a dick.

As a non-nonsense tough guy, my approach is this:

If you are a woman, and you want to shake hands, grow some pubes and stick your damn hand out. It's isn't the 1950's any more, and this isn't Iran.

[vdubkid]

and if a person has their hands full, I will offer an elbow-bump instead (too be funny/break the awkwardness of people wanting to shake but can't).

Dude, the chicken wing is legit.

[TrUcKeR]

Word, but IMO, only when called upon, or when drunk.

[SofaKingCG2]

I always shake hands. Proper etiquette to me is a nice firm hand shake for men. Not too firm but it asserts the man in both parties. With girls it's usually a gentle handshake or in some cases a hug. The more of a hand grasp has also risen in popularity.

ex.


I find that this one is usually used with closer friends and is usually accompanied by a half hug coming from the other arm.

Actually once. I shook a girls hand and she said " Girls don't get hand shakes, they get hugs." Which was ok. Because she was cute.

[DiScoTeknix]

Maybe they feel intimidated by you?

I personally don't shake anyone's hand. A simple hello does the trick.

[TrUcKeR]

In my teens, some previously unknown girls would indeed offer a hug, and I'd allow it. I'd cup their ass, squeeze a bit and say "Good game, girl."

I started getting hit too many times for it once I got older, so I stopped doing that.

[Zack01GC]

I'll shake a girls hand if I'm introducing myself. That's about it, though.

[Tuck&Poke]

in miami girls and guys kiss on the cheek, and guys shake hands, i guess its a latin thing. I have to adjust when im not around here to more "american" etiquette which seems to be a handshake for girls and guys.

ive noticed that when the introduction is more formal, each person shakes hands or kisses, when the introduction is more broad, its typically waves, or nods

[Jay Z.]

I'm all about the pounding of the fist

[ray ban]

its not about the type of greeting i was being given. Its the fact that everyone around me was getting a handshake and i wasn't. thats what was strange to me. i wasn't even introduced. i was skipped over like an invisible link. it kinda hurted my feelings

[TrUcKeR]

Well, you ARE a woman.

Ok, ok, I'm J/K about that.

It was rude to dismiss you. Unless you has moose knuckle.

But honestly, I think even I've done it a few times. If someone introduces me to a dude, but not the g/f or wife, I just assume there's a reason for it and go about my day. If she ends up speaking later, then I'll ask her name and shake the hand.

[BLKonBLK98]

they were scared of li'l wayne.

[ray ban]

i just found it interesting. not that i would have remembered the names of all the guys that were being introduced. it would have just been nice not to be written off as M.Burroughs's bitch . . .well maybe thats not so bad