Restomod 944

[Red_Arrowheads]

Holy shit, this is in the running for best thread evar.

[Motoman325]

Thank you sir,
I feel so special and internet famous

And those pistons...those pistons

[cruuz]

Spent my morning reading this instead of wrenching in MY garage, so thanks for that.....





sub'd

[LCG]

A LOVE STORY

Do you **** Hollywood movies where the good guys always win and the lovers on the movie get away with everything and live happily ever after?

This is one of those stories.

---

Back when I removed the passenger seat, I tried to remove the driver seat too, that failed.

Why?

Porsche uses captive nuts to clamp the seat rails to the floor of the car, this nuts not only aren’t nuts, they are thin pieces of metal acting as one but they also are hidden away from any tools inside layers of the floor.

The ones in the passenger seat were all still enforced to the floor so the bolts went out properly.

But the ones in the driver seat must have gone thru some sort of hippie education because they were all free nuts, not only they had break free of their captiveness, they did not have any intention to cooperate.

So they were standing up to me, the Evil Corporation.

Doing against what society expected them to do, yet holding another piece that actually wants to come out, just like real hippies.

As an Evil Corporation I did what I had to do.




I stabbed them.

I stabbed them like they were the guy that named the starbucks cup sizes.

It was effective.

The rear bolts came out, freeing them of their kidnapper hippies after some stabbing each couple of ratchet spins.


Front Bolts.

My blood temperature started rising as soon as my eyes saw the bolts, I knew.

I knew Dr. F. was behind this. The bolts were ½”, the exact same size of the inside of the rails.
No socket could grab those bolts, these were not hippies, these were anarchists.




I had to do the 2 wrench pain, moving the bolt not even ¼ of a ¼ of turn each time.

How could this be possible, fucking Dr. F. you patient piece of shit, how you did this?

I crawled under the car to look for a pass thru bolt, NOTHING.

The carpet was 1 piece, so nothing clued other way of removing them any different than what I was doing, while cursing, which believe or not, helps. A lot.

After ridiculous amounts of stabbing I got one bolt out.

So only one left, the leader, the chief, the mastermind of this anarchist operation.

I stabbed it countless times; I believe that if I had any intention to retain the stock floor of the car I would have opted for grinding away the head of the bolt just to feel I was cutting its head.

I made enough progress unthreading it to wiggle the seat around to have a better view.

We finally have a face to face encounter.




An actual nut, IMPOSSIBLE, evolution must have taken place inside the floor.

I tried to stab it in ways I could keep rotation on the bolt but the nut kept spinning with it with enough force to push the knife out.

Then I knew it, True Love.

I was wrong calling this bolt an anarchist, he was just so In love with its nut that they didn’t want to leave each other.

Being the merciful God I am, I wiggled the seat till the nut came out.




Like Hollywood movies, lovers didn’t care how much they made suffer the seat rail or the floor as long as they stayed together, selfish bastards.

You may think that after all that struggle I would find a gold mine under the seat.

No.




The only thing gold was a rattle ball that was not even real gold.

So far this car did not have a single coin or valuable piece of history on it that I could use to fund the project.


To be continued…

[cosmo135]

Dr. F strikes again

[UpperClass]

Hilarious as always!

[Motoman325]

I'm glad you got the seat out.

I'm still laughing that it actually got its own chapter

[lamsv]

I was actually worried that seat was going to spell the end of this project.

[Dutch]

This is just awesome! Everyday I check in on this and have alaugh every time!

[P78]

cool story

no really no pun intented

[TWM Performance]

Madness! Love this restoration.

- Renato

[MarckusSB]

sub'd!

I love the build so far dude

[kittenpuncher]

This is what we call entertainment

[LCG]

I will interrupt usual schedule to make a speech.

I am glad some of you like it, I made it for me, to you.

From the bottom of my healthy heart, Thank you.



Also, while I was throwing stock parts to the trash I kept these plastic pieces, I don't know if they are special enough for other 924 owners but I thought they could be.

If you are a 924 owner or you know anyone that needs little plastic pieces, these are in EXCELLENT condition. Take your pic, pay astronomic shipping prices and they are yours. Many other stuff available too, ask away.




Also if they are not that special I would greatly appreciate being told so.

I have thrown them to the bin twice and pulled out in regret thinking they could make another human happy.

[white out]

You need to write a book.