The Resurrection of Heidi

[bmx]

one can only dream...

[TinkWithanR]

Time.

For something so rigid and consistent, isn't it a wonder how differently it can be perceived. When caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, it passes us by with a speed that we don't even comprehend. Days turn into weeks. Weeks into months. And before you know it the car you parked in the garage last weekend has been sitting, mothballed for a decade. It happens all to easily. It was that same force that got her to the place in her life that I met her. It's funny though, how the thing that seemed to be slowly killing her was actually her last line of defense from a greater, unforeseen force. Hindsight reveals the clearest of pictures only after their usefulness has passed.


The first few weeks we spent together passed so quickly, countless nights spent getting to know each other.




With a goal of getting her back on the road to really feel what she needed, getting her heart beating again was the first order of business. Fluids were flushed, throttle bodies rebuilt, and a completely new fuel system was installed.












As the anticipation of months of work built up, time slowed. Billions of electrons awoke from their slumber. They stumbled down the paths they once knew, all but forgotten from the past. The signal from the ignition spread out throughout her nervous system, bringing to life all of her organs in a mechanical symphony. And on a cold night in April, she cleared her throat again. Time, it seemed, had not beaten her yet.



Celebrations were short lived, there was still a long road to travel. Her heart was strong, but the rest of her was still very weak. A short test drive revealed a limping transmission. The brakes that once kept her supercar urges in check were all but rotted away. Of course, anything that popped up was nothing that couldn't be remedied with a weekend or two of long nights and cold drinks.





Then I finally drove her home. Not across the parking lot. Not down the block. We took the long way home, to a real garage. Looking back on that drive it was truly great. She drove flawlessly, all the years of neglect faded away with every passing mile. The engine pulled stronger than I could have hoped for, the racing pedigree screaming out all the way to the redline. It was a story book ending, and the beginning of something truly amazing. I got one last look as I tucked her in for the night.





The next day I awoke with excitement, knowing what was waiting for me just downstairs. There was still a laundry list of odds and ends that needed to be accomplished, but now that she was back it seemed like a mountain eroded into a molehill. Nothing was to big, nothing insurmountable. Nothing except what was waited for Heidi that afternoon.












She was just sitting at a red light.

They had no License.

No Insurance.



Time stood still.

[double_oh_9]

No!!!
I'm sorry to see that.

On a side note, if you aren't already, you should be a writer

[SnazzyQ]

God some people need to learn how to drive. I bet the person in that trailblazer was texting while driving.

So sad to see an m5 in that state. Im sorry for your loss

On a side note, if you aren't already, you should be a writer

Also +1

[Jay P]

Bloody hell!!
Now that hurts!

I cant help but read through this with that 'Marv voice' from Sin City. Proper bad-ass story-telling. Your writing style is amazing. Hope Heidi can be saved. All the best with the car.

[Earl]

How in the hell did they hit you that hard when you were sitting at a red light=( Was it stolen or did they just have a suspended license? Sorry to see this happen=/

[mikey G]

...he was just trying to tuck your bumpers for you....

Seriously though, that sucks, sorry man. Hope you get it sorted, best of luck.

[Yezzz]

Geez, thats messed up. Are you okay tho? Seems like it hit you pretty hard

[244Brick]

I **** to say it, but i'd total Heidi out and start over with another. She'll mever be the same Heidi, always the wrecked heidi. So, start fresh. Good luck and i'm glad you're okay!

[parker]

this is so sad

[anth]

That sucks so bad, another classic ruined by a cookie cutter. I was really looking forward to watching you work your magic on this.

[Robitussin]

Sorry about your loss man! Hopefully you can get it sorted!

[TinkWithanR]

1) Denial

It wasn’t real. It couldn’t be. Truly great things of such magnitude can’t be shot down in such short order. The next few mornings would start with a blissful ignorance. A bright day full of optimism, only to be crushed and overrun as the daunting weight of reality set it. As days past, reality works its way into your subconscious. It doesn’t wait for you to wipe the sleep from your eyes. There is no glimmer of hope. Only the painful truth that you have to accept. You slowly get used to the pain, numbing yourself just enough to get through each day. Only to be greeted again the next morning.

I stayed away from the shop for a while, I didn’t want to face the truth, I couldn’t. Eventually I was able to call my insurance company to start my own claim.




2) Anger

The numbness turns the pain into anger. It’s never fair. A truly great car is lost, and what do they get? A simple ticket? A fine? No, handcuff them. Take them away. Their careless mistake cost others so much more, and they go on their way with a slap on the wrist. Your stomach turns in knots and your blood boils just thinking about it. No physical pain from the accident can even match the emotion and mental turmoil.

Trying to distract myself didn’t work. Anything could take my mind back to the moment it happened, starting the rage all over again. All the while waiting to hear from insurance. Surely it couldn’t be valued as a normal e28. But with so few examples to go off of, what other choice would they have?





3) Bargaining

The mind can only handle anger for so long. When it tires, a million other scenarios fly through it, a flock migrating towards anywhere else. Why wasn’t I one lane over? Why didn’t they just stop? Maybe the damage isn’t as bad as it seems. Maybe the chassis could be straightened. Anything to get away from the relentless reality of losing her.

I tried to avoid getting body shop estimates at first. My mind figured without a repair estimate how could it be declared totaled? But life support wasn’t the way she was meant to live, and her time came.





4) Depression

She’s too far gone. You know it. You can feel it. After being towed to the shop, where you were driving together before it all happened, you visit a few days later. And you just know. The rear door can’t shut. The roof is buckled. The wheel well tears away at the tire with every rotation. Before there was a long hill to climb. Now it’s a bottomless pit, unfathomably deep and impossible to overcome.

I wish I could tell you Heidi fought the good fight. I wish I could tell you that. But this is no fairytale world. The body shop never said the word. But I knew it. There were enough numbers to the right of the dollar sign to speak volumes with their silence.





5) Acceptance

People say time heals all wounds. But people lie. Some wounds never truly heal. Some wounds leave scars, reminders of past struggles. And reminders that those struggles are exactly that, in the past. Scars show strength, show determination. Remnants of experiences and turmoil that shape you into the person that you are today, and the person you will be tomorrow.

This is where you want me to say I will fix her. After all, I bought her back from the insurance company. Roofs can be pulled. Frames can be straightened. This is where you want me to say no road is too long, too difficult. And god do I wish I could. Ever since the accident my mind wanted one thing and one thing only, to bring her back. But the more I tried to convince myself, the harder it became. Maybe if it was just the accident, without the rust. Maybe if she hadn’t sacrificed herself for me, buckling in the center to save me from serious injury. But card after card stacked against her, and I couldn’t ignore reality anymore.


She was totaled.


I like to think I made her last bit of time on these roads better, that the time we had together was truly special. I'll never forget her, the things I learned or the time we spent together. Other cars will come and go, but I'll always have a piece of her with me.

R.I.P. Heidi

[Earl]

Now what? =(

[Puntoevo]

Damn that sucks... Now what?