After being completely ruined from riding around in my M3, my brother took the plunge and bought a 325i from one of my coworkers.

My mom and dad thought it was a great move for him. Until he and I started drag racing from stop lights and drifting corners, and discussing this in front of them. While we discussed, this is pretty much what was going on.

Fall was setting in, and I was still without a winter vehicle. My wife has been driving my faithful winter car since May, and I was running out of time. The closer winter got, the more it looked like I was going to have to drive the M3 through the bullshit.
I was conflicted.

Driving the M3 would be nothing short of a blast- sideways action at the drop of the hammer, and I wouldn't have to drive some clapped-out pile that I bought from Craigslist.

The downside: that meant exposing the car to even more salt, which means more rust.

I wanted something good on gas, reliable, and fun to drive. So naturally, I only nailed down one of my three requirements and bought a 2001 GMC Sierra.


I kept driving the M3 for as long as I could- brisk fall days made for making gobs of power. The scenery was pretty, too.

And then I got a giant "fuck you" in the form of locking my keys in the car, with it running, with all the windows up. I tried opening my trunk when it wasn't "fully out", which locks all the doors on the car in some kind of safety panic.


Naturally, none of the extra key fobs I had worked, and I didn't have a spare key made yet. Fanfuckingtastic you cum-swilling motherfucking whorebag slutmonger.

I hope none of you ever have to do this to your own car. I felt like crying.


With the factory glass getting blown out in my garage, I vacuumed out all of the broken glass and kind of lost interest in the car for a little while. I was so disgusted at the fact that I had to ruin one of the windows in the car.
And then, the snow came.

Being that I had let the car set for almost a month and a half, I did what any self-respecting hoon would do.
I started that cunt up and drifted my cul-de-sac before they salted.

After that, I waited for the roads to be cleared off and the roads to dry out. This came about a week later, and I bombed the M3 around my neighborhood with the window out of it. It didn't matter, I needed that short drive to motivate me to work on it again.



It turns out that it was a blessing it disguise: the window regulator had cracked, bent, and tweaked the inside of the door. It was like some backwards-ass hentei where the insides get all messed up or something. But that's an entirely different topic.
I missed driving it. I missed grabbing gears in something that was nothing short of maniacal to daily drive.
And that's when my co-worker came in to ruin me.
"Hey, do you know anyone who wants to buy another BMW?"
"Very funny, asshole."
"No, seriously. My buddy is trying to sell his 330."
"...is it a 5-speed?"
"Yup."

"You have my attention. What are the details?"
"He just bought a new 328i, he just wants this gone. It's a 330Ci, 5-speed, black on black, sports package car with the premium package."

"Okay, I probably can't afford it. What does he want for it?"
*coworker holds up his hand with a few fingers*

"Give me his phone number."
And that's how I wound up with this the next day.

My wife has wanted a BMW since I got my M3, and with her driving my beater Accord, I figured this would be a perfect opportunity (excuse?) to jump on the car, doll it up, and let her cruise around, beating up on Audi driving assholes in our neighborhood.
This car also needs a ton of work, but that's a story for another day.
I leave you with the obligatory sexy gif of the month. Happy holidays, folks.















































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