Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

f#ckin with craigslist

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • f#ckin with craigslist

    saw this on another forum and was just laughing at all them. thought id share

    Originally posted by Alkasquawlik View Post
    This is keeping me entertained at work right now


    The guy basically sends emails to Craigslists posters and fucks with them





    Original ad:
    I am trying to get 2 tickets to the Nationals vs. Red Sox on Thursday, June 25th. I'm willing to pay up to $40.
    From Mike Partlow to **********@**********.org

    Hello, I do not have tickets to the Nationals, but I do have a video tape of my 7-year-old's little league team game last week. He plays for the Arby's Allstars, and they beat the Smith Hardware Little Leaguers. I am sure it will be way more entertaining than watching the Nationals get their ass whooped for the 49th time this season.

    From austin ******* to Me

    Fuck yourself, asshole.

    From Mike Partlow to austin *******

    Austin, my 7-year-old son was on the computer and he read your very offensive e-mail. Now he is going around telling everyone to "fuck themselves." Me and my wife tried to raise him to be a kid who doesn't curse, but thanks to your profanity, he thinks it is okay. I demand an apology from you.

    From austin ******* to Me

    You want my apology? Go fuck yourself.

    From Mike Partlow to austin *******

    I did have the tickets; I was just messing around with you. They were good seats - 10 rows back from third base. I was going to sell them both for $30. I would rather burn them, however, if you don't apologize. If you do apologize, the tickets will be yours.

    From Mike Partlow to austin *******

    I'm waiting...

    From austin ******* to Me

    I'm sorry about your kid.

    From Mike Partlow to austin *******

    Hah, what a sucker. I made you look like little bitch in front of my 7-year-old son. I don't actually have any tickets. Thanks for helping me teach my son a lesson about how not to keep your dignity.

    Mike






    Original ad:
    Wanted: ride from philly to rehoboth beach

    i am trying to leave any time next friday. i will pay for gas, and provide conversation.i am bringing a large duffel bag and a cat.
    From Mike Partlow to ***********@*********.org

    Hey,

    I have to go to court in Rehoboth next Friday, so I would be able to give you a ride. I just want to know, you're female, right?

    Mike

    From chris ******** to Me

    i am male. what time did you want to leave?
    -chris

    From Mike Partlow to chris *********

    Chris,

    I'm sorry, I thought you were female because you said you owned a cat. Sorry, but I don't want to give you a ride. Two dudes in a car, going to Rehoboth, it just seems a little gay. Better luck next time.

    Mike

    From chris ******** to Me

    wtf how is that gay? i just want a ride!

    From Mike Partlow to chris *********

    Well normally I wouldn't think anything of it, but first off, you own a cat, and you are a dude. That is a huge red flag right there. Any normal straight guy wouldn't own a cat, and if he did, he wouldn't care about the cat enough to take it to the beach. Second, you want to go to Rehomo Beach. I'm not judging your lifestyle or anything man, I just don't want you gaying up my car. No offense. I don't even want to know what is in your duffel bag.

    From chris ******** to Me

    stfu dude why are you being a prick! im not fucking gay i just cant get a fucking ride to the beach! my GIRLFRIEND happens to have a house in rehoboth!!

    From Mike Partlow to chris *********

    Yeah, I'm sure he does.

    I think Richard Simmons is driving down there next week, try to get a ride with him.




    Original ad:
    WE PAY TO CUT YOUR HAIR!
    We are a hair styling school that is looking for volunteers to get their hair styled/dyed by our students. We will pay you up to $50. Preferably women/girls
    From Mike Anderson to *********@*********.org

    Hey! I saw your ad saying you will pay cash to cut my hair! Well I just got my head shaved, but I haven't trimmed my pubes in about five months. They are pretty gnarly, and I jammed my beard trimmer trying to cut them earlier. How much would you pay me to trim my pubes?

    Mike

    From *********@yahoo.com to Mike Anderson

    Mike,

    Sorry but we do not trim pubic hair. This is more of a hair dying and styling place.

    Thanks!

    From Mike Anderson to *********@yahoo.com

    That works for me too. My pubes are very curly, but I've always wanted to get them straightened. Would you be able to do that? Maybe you could put some highlights in, and just shape up my split ends. Also, do you have some kind of conditioner that would take care of my crabs problem? My prescription ointment doesn't really do the job.

    Where are you located? I am free all day tomorrow.

    From *********@yahoo.com to Mike Anderson

    Mike we work on HEADS ONLY. SORRY.

    From Mike Anderson to *********@yahoo.com

    Here's what I am willing to do. You style my pubes, and I'll accept $40 cash instead of $50. You can even donate my pubes to those people with cancer who need hair, if you want.

    From *********@yahoo.com to Mike Anderson

    NO. That is disgusting. Leave us alone!




    Original ad:
    FREE COUCH! i have a free plaid couch on the curb outside my house. the address is 39 ******* rd come and get it!
    From Mike Anderson to **********@*******.org

    Hey. I am tired of driving down ******* and seeing your ugly couch. It is ruining the neighborhood. What the hell were you thinking when you bought that? Nobody is going to want that thing! It better not be there when I drive past tomorrow.

    From ************@gmail.com to Me

    if you dont like it why dont u come and fuckin get it. tough shit if u dont like seeing it. its only been out there 1 day!

    From Mike Anderson to ************@gmail.com

    One day too many. I don't want your shitty couch. Maybe I would if I was a Scottish guy living in the 70's, but I'm not. That couch looks like what would happen if a parrot and a rhino fucked and had a freak baby, and then that baby grew up and then took a shit on your curb. Why don't you pay someone to haul that piece of shit away?

    From ************@gmail.com to Me

    fuck you buddy! tough shit. drive a different way

    From Mike Anderson to ************@gmail.com

    I like going that way because it is scenic. Well, at least it was until you put that pile of shit out there. If it is stil there tomorrow, I am going to come back during the night and cement it to your driveway.

    From ************@gmail.com to Me

    COME AND TRY IT MOTHERFUCKER ILL BE WAITING

  • #2
    Haha, the need a ride one is hillarious.
    [

    Comment


    • #3
      awesome, simply awesome
      2011 Outback 2.5i 6MT #subarubaru - daily/off-pavement adventure vehicle
      2001 BMW 325i Wagon 6MT #daswagoon - wife's #becauseracewagon
      1996 Suburban 2500 TD #superbbourbon - tow bitch/people hauler

      Comment


      • #4
        My pubes are very curly, but I've always wanted to get them straightened.
        Originally posted by da3bous
        I want you to photoshop a giant penis down the side of my car

        Comment


        • #5
          This is A+ material! lol!

          Comment


          • #6
            They're all funny as hell!

            Comment


            • #7
              Original ad:
              I bought this GE refrigerator a few years ago, but just got a new one for my kitchen and no longer need it. It still works perfectly and is very large, perfect as your main fridge for a kitchen. I'm asking $300 for it. I am located in Brooklyn, but will be willing to deliver it up to 25 miles for a small fee.
              From Mike Partlow to ************@**********.org

              Hello,

              I am very interested in your fridge. Is it still available? If so, how much would you charge to deliver it to my place in the city?

              Mike

              From marty ******* to Me

              Yes mike it is still available. I will deliver it for an extra $50. where is your place located?

              From Mike Partlow to marty *******

              I want it delivered to my office on the 67th floor of the ********* Building on **rd st and **********. Now I am pretty sure that the fridge won't fit in the elevator, and if it does, it would exceed the weight capacity, so you will have to carry it up the stairs. I hope this won't be a problem.

              When can you deliver it? I work Monday-Friday 9-5 and can be there any time. I do need it sooner rather than later, however.

              Mike

              From marty ******* to Me

              that is absurd. Im not going to heave this very heavy fridge up 67 flights of stairs. Dosent your building have a cargo/utility elevator?

              From Mike Partlow to marty *******

              Marty, you don't have to lug it up 67 flights of stairs. There is a loading bay around back that starts on the 2nd floor, and I'm pretty sure this building does not count the 13th floor. So you are really only carrying it up 65 flights of stairs. There was a cargo elevator, but building management has told me that I am never allowed to use it again after I attempted to bring my motorcycle up to my office. They don't let just anyone use it anymore, so that isn't an option.

              From marty ******* to Me

              absolutely not. do you have any idea how heavy this thing is? why do you even need a full size fridge in your office? just buy one of those small mini fridges.

              From Mike Partlow to marty *******

              Marty,

              You are obviously not a very good salesman if you are trying to suggest I buy something else instead of your product. How is that working out for you? Do you make a lot of money that way?

              Not that it is any of your business, but I cannot afford rent in my apartment anymore and am slowly trying to move into my office so I can live out of there. I plan on disguising the fridge as a filing cabinet so my company will not get suspicious. If anyone asks you what you are doing when you are moving it into my office, just tell them that you are delivering my new filing cabinet. Try to tuck the power cord under the fridge so they don't realize that it is actually a fridge.

              How does next Tuesday work? I am free all day.

              Mike

              From marty ******* to Me

              mike I don't think you understood me. I am NOT delivering the fridge to your office. it's way too big and heavy, and I doubt you will find anyone willing to carry it up to the 67th floor.

              From Mike Partlow to marty *******

              Marty,

              I'm sorry, I must have misread your ad. I could have sworn it said "will be willing to deliver it up to 25 miles for a small fee." Am I crazy, or did your ad say that?

              I don't recall it saying "will be willing to deliver it as long as your building isn't too big and scary for my weak little body to carry it."

              From marty ******* to Me

              Hey listen asshole. You are a Fuckin idiot if you honestly think somebody will do this. It has nothing to do with strength it is just an insane request. the only way you will get a fucking fridge up there is with an elevator. fuck off.

              From Mike Partlow to marty *******

              Marty, I get what you are saying. It doesn't have anything to do with strength, because even my 120 lb ex-wife could carry this thing up. It is clearly a lack of motivation. You need to be in the right mindset to be able to do this.

              Tell you what, I'll stand behind you as you carry it up, and shout encouraging motivational words at you to keep you going. I'll say things like "c'mon Marty, you can do it! You're almost there!" and "don't give up!" I'll even bring a few bottles of Gatorade in case you get thirsty. What flavor do you want? I have frost and orange, but I really don't recommend orange because it doesn't even taste like Gatorade.

              So see you Tuesday?

              Mike

              From marty ******* to Me

              shut the fuck up.
              i love this one haha

              Comment


              • #8
                so epic, just made my day

                Comment


                • #9
                  Lol!
                  -Jason
                  http://project-a3.blogspot.com

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I love ruse things. I'm in a hospital right now trying to stifle my
                    -George
                    flickr

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Holy shit this is awesome! Is there a link to more?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        post moar
                        -Jason
                        http://project-a3.blogspot.com

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          go to the link to get more.

                          here it is again : www.dontevenreply.com

                          there's tons of them

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            That is fvcking hilarious lol
                            -Brandon-

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              nice find

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X